


lactobacillus (protect you)

by a3hihi (henriddas_quill)



Series: sweet tooth [3]
Category: A3! (Anime), A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Juuza Hyoudou, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Help, Laboratories, Not Beta Read, Other, this reads like a fever dream i can't explain any of it if i tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29489688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henriddas_quill/pseuds/a3hihi
Summary: Yes the title is a pun of lactobacillus protectus (which isn’t a real thing apparently)
Relationships: Hyoudou Juuza/Reader
Series: sweet tooth [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2199297
Comments: 14
Kudos: 14





	lactobacillus (protect you)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the title is a pun of lactobacillus protectus (which isn’t a real thing apparently)

He promised the director he’d be back before dinner. 

Beyond the school window, the sky outside is a swirl of pink and orange, the clouds reminding him of cotton candy. Light from the sunset streams over flasks, test tubes, beakers.

Juza adjusts his lab coat, picks at his goggles. So he stayed overtime to help his teacher with the specimens. What’s the trouble? The laboratory is mostly quiet, save for the hum of fluorescent lights and shallow steps of professors outside. His teacher isn’t back from fetching equipment yet. Walking by the white shelves, the actor settles on checking the tables.

Something clinks on one of them. Juza walks closer to inspect the situation, and his eyes focus on a petri dish. He finds it impossible to read writing on its label. It vibrates slightly, now that he peers at it a bit more closely, so he separates it from the other dishes.

It’s. Moving?

It’s glowing too, apparently, in fact it’s glowing _really_ brightly--

“Ouch.” Juza shuts his eyes and gently sets down a hand on the dish.

What was going _on?_

Juza looks around. No one was watching. His teacher really should be back by now.

Juza takes the dish and swabs some material off of it. He tries to be careful when handling it. He’d been reminded of his strength too many times in past lab assignments. Placing the culture on a slide, Juza takes out a microscope and peers at the small mass. Looks like it stopped glowing. He places his face near the eye piece, turning the microscope’s screws. 

And there you were. There you floated, to be exact. 

You see a yellow eye peek at you, and you snicker at it. Not that its owner can hear you. Now, you don’t know how you do this, but you decide to blink some lights at it.

“Ow!”

Juza tears his eye away from the microscope.

You pout and stop blinking.

Juza frowns at the microscope. He looks for anyone else listening, then chuckles a bit. He extends a hand to the slide, like he could shake your hand.

“Hyodo Juza.”

He’s met with one of your blinks again. He’s pretty sure bacteria shouldn’t blink, but he hasn’t paid attention enough in class to dispute that. Juza makes a mental note to ask Itaru-san about it.

“Hm. Can you hear me? Two sparkles for yes, one for no, please.”

Now that he’s away from the microscope, you can see his frame from below. You blink twice as a joke, but when you do you see him wince.

“Oh it actually did that,” he says, words in quick succession.

He clears his throat.

“Um, I don’t know what’s going on.”

Now he _had_ to ask Itaru-san about it.

“Hyodo? How are the specimens?”

Teacher’s back.

“Er,” he begins, but his teacher starts explaining how she got caught up in the hallways. There was some fair going on and the people preparing for it kept bumping into her.

“And that’s why,” she finishes, “I think we should continue this some other time. I’m sorry, I know we’ve taken so much of your time already, but is it okay if you came back tomorrow instead?”

Juza’s about to answer when his teacher goes “What’s that?”

“Well.” Juza feels sweat start to prick his temples. 

“It’s nothing. I just wanted to see the bacteria.”

“Okay, Juza,” his teacher says, in the way he’d speak to a toddler.

He chooses to do this, but he doesn’t know if he’ll like it.

* * *

Put simply, you’ve been in Juza’s pocket for a week.

“Nope, never heard of bacteria like that,” Itaru says, popping chips in his mouth.

“Some of them move around, some of them can infect you but -- ah, damn!” he continues, pressing away at his console, “bacteria don’t really _glow_ like that. Must be making some kind of monster.” 

Itaru chuckles at that, but it just makes Juza nervous.

“On second thought,” Itaru says, face lit by his monitor, “you should probably throw it out in a plastic bag or something. It might have weird effects.”

“N-no, I can’t do that,” Juza answers, clenching his fist. Your petri dish settles in his lap. “The bacteria’s important.”

“Hmm?” Itaru hums, side-eyeing Juza. “Do you really want to get sick?”

“No.” Juza’s ears are pink.

Itaru’s fully squinting at this point. “What’s the matter with you?”

“It’s nothing.” Juza leaves Itaru’s room, more confused than before.

* * *

The blanket fort Muku set up was a nice place for you to relax. To be fair, it was built for people to relax in, but that was besides the point.

“Waaah, that’s so cool, Juu-chan!” Muku cheers, pointing at your place in Juza’s hands. 

You blink light for Muku and he gives a little “ah!”, making Juza laugh. That’s the goal!

“Can I say something?” Juza asks, at ease with his cousin.

“Yeah?”

“The bacteria knows my schedule,” he says, smiling.

It’s Muku’s turn to get confused. “Huh?”

“The petri dish blinks when I need to wake up. And when it’s time for practice.” Juza sits up, pillows supporting him. “I… I talk to it, ask it yes or no questions. It’s a little weird, actually.”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Muku says, ready to daydream at nine in the evening. He props himself up on his elbows. 

“Bacteria. Do you love Juza? Two blinks for yes.” “Huh? Muku, why would you ask that?” Juza feels his cheeks warm.

You blink twice and the gears in Juza’s head stop working. 

Muku lets out a “squee!”

“It’s kinda like this one story I read. Um.” Muku twiddles his fingers together.

“You can speak up.”

“Right. Well, this mad scientist makes this weird bacteria by accident. Like, they spill candy on it? And then, um, the bacteria kind of becomes a person? And then they get together,” Muku sighs, hands on his cheek. “It’s romantic if you think of it that way.”

“Romantic, huh,” Juza muses. He takes a look at your dish. Maybe Muku was onto something.

* * *

Spilling candy on you was what Kazunari would call a “big yike event.”

Juza made sure no one was around when he did it. He snuck into the kitchen one afternoon, tipped the lid of your dish up, and sprinkled some sugar into your home. It was his favorite sugar, too. Juza smiles to himself. Had Muku seen him, he’d say it was like a bonding moment.

Juza grimaces. 

“Can you still understand me?” he whispers.

Two blinks. Then you start growing. You grow to the size of a thimble, then an orange, then a football and Juza starts screaming increasingly loud.

“Nii-san, are you okay -- _AAAAAH WHAT IS THAT_?!”

Kumon runs into the kitchen, panting. He’s still wearing his uniform.

You’re the size of a person, just like in Muku’s story. You’re still blinking, too, lights flickering on your body as you smile at the two of them.

Juza’s jaw drops as he steps toward you. “Bacteria?” he whispers, tilting his head.

You move closer. “It’s me,” you say, ready to wrap fully-formed arms around him.

Kumon screeches, fetching a cup and filling it with water.

“Wait, stop,” you protest, Juza diving between you and Kumon.

“THAT’S A WHOLE PERSON,” Kumon yells, splashing the water on you.

In a flash, Juza watches you melt into a puddle, shrinking to your original size. Kumon’s still breathing heavily, wiping sweat from his brow.

“I did it! I saved you!”

Well, there's a blinking spot on the kitchen that they'll have to explain to the director. Juza scratches his head. Maybe he’d find romance some other time.


End file.
